Lone Wolf, Okla.

Tues Dec 17, 1946

Hello Darling,

I just finished reading your letters over again for about the n'th time. I have to do something and writing you is all that helps me any at all. Even then I can't put my thoughts down on paper. I hope you can read between the lines, Because you know how much I love you. If I was good at Slinging the gab Perhaps you would like it better but you know darling I can't even tell you what is in my heart even when you are with me.

I stayed up home last night the first time since you left. Then I wished I was down here. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't your longing for me so much that makes me so restless,. I can't go anywhere or do anything without always thinking of you.

From the way you sound I believe if I pull one more good binge I'll have you back with me. I told Cecil & Shorty out here the other night I believed if they would help me just a little we could get you back out here. They could write & tell you how wild I'm running & such stuff as that & I don't believe you would stay away very long. Because sweetheart I do love you & its awfull to stay away from you. You may think its bad to have to stay off down there But I believe I'd rather be someplace like that, where I couldn't go anywhere, than here. Because even when I go to the show or just driving around, I feel a lot lonlier than if I'd of stayed home in the first Place.

Darling I just lay here & think of how nice it was Just to hold you in my arms & kiss you. I really enjoyed having you beside me when I was reading. Just so when you were about half asleep I could kiss you awake again. Then you would try & get your head a little deeper into my sholder and mutter something. Then I would read until you were asleep again. Sometimes I just sit in the rocking chair or lay here in bed, Doing Nothing but think of you and how much I love you. All the Joy and laughter we've had together.

I really tried at first to treat you like I would any other. But you were so trusting and so sweet, lots of times I just did things to try & make you dislike me. I knew then I loved you But I tried to fool myself & you to. But it wasn't any use. Remember the first time I tried to be honest with you. It was up at a dance. We were out in Cecil's car. I told you how much I like to marry you & the reason I couldn't. I new then I wasn't ever going to be able to get along without you, ever.

Darling ever minute that P{asses seems like ages. For I long to hold you again in my arm's & kiss you forever. I can Just feel you beside me With your eyes laughing & promising, then you lean over & kiss me. Sweetheart I think of you this way all the time. You seem so near to me all the time, as if you were right here with me. I just love to get your head Between my hands, then lean down & kiss you long & fully. Honey I long for your love and your kisses so bad I can close my eyes & feel them yet & your low voice saying you love me. Darling I long for you so very much I can't live without you. I know you are crying as you read this & sometimes I wish I could cry to, Honey feel bad enough too. Not bad tho, Just empty inside. I just sit here where we've spent such blissfull moments together Trying to capture what little happiness we can. I know I've never loved or been loved as fully as I have since I've been with. When I think back and seen such happiness as I've missed by not knowing you before, It really hurts. Darling if we can only love one another as we do now It will really be worth living for.

Now as I am writing this to you I can Just lay my arm out & imagine your head laying on my shoulder & your sweet soft body Pressed close to me. Your eyes looking longingly up into mine with your lips slightly parted and I move closer & our lips meet & eyes close & we forget everything & give our selves to a moment of ---

Darling I cannot describe it, the way I feel when I kiss you & you return it with all your heart and soul. It just makes me all happy inside I just want to shout and sing. But instead I cuss you & call you most anything that comes to my mind then kiss you again & again harder than ever. Darling I love you so terribly much I Just have to tell you how I feel and how I'm thinking of you every minute of the day & night, Even after I turn the lights out & get in bed I just lay & roll from one side of the bed to the other trying to go to sleep yet fighting it Because I want you beside me so terribly bad. Sweetheart you've always been so sweet and good to me, I just want you to always be that way. Sometimes I get to thinking what if we should qurrall. I still remember the first time you got mad at me. I know it was my fault. But Darling it hurt me so terribly, I wanted to go and ask you what was the matter & I was afriad I would make it worse. & You Didn't act like you wanted to forgive Me for so long. I just hope we never do it any more, Because I love you so much it Frightens me to think of ever disagreeing with one another.

Honey I long for your kiss'es so much I can feel them even now, I don't have to shut my eyes I just lay here & you are so near me yet so far. I guess I'm Just torturing my self but darling your love reaches so far I can just see you looking at me with all your love & soul in your eyes. Then you turn your head enough so our lips meet in a caressing, lingering kiss. Darling it is so real to me. Honey I could go on forever as long as you are this near to me But I am going to stop now as much as I would like to just go on telling you over & over that I love you, and I need you so terribly much. Just to have you beside me with your head on my shoulder & to be able to kiss you again is all I desire. So Darling until I can see & hold & kiss you in reality I shall do so in my Dreams.

Now hold me in your arms and kiss me good night. For I love you Darling. Roswell.